Jackie wakes to the sound of her daughter, crying for her late night feeding. In her half-dazed state, Jackie thinks for a moment the whole thing was a nightmare, her worst fears come to life, the kind of dreams she was having in the later stages of her pregnancy. She can hear Nico breathing, feel his weight on the bed beside her. But there's something not right, Nico always sleeps wrapped around her, arms clasped in front of her breasts, face buried in her hair. And why is she fully dressed? As Jackie pulls herself up out of bed to go feed Trill, she looks beside her to confirm her worst nightmare has come true. The body sleeping beside her tonight is Debbie. How did that happen anyway? Jackie wonders as she enters her daughter's room. She's never made friends easily with other women, the few women she ever refered to as 'friends' are more like the girlfriends of her bandmates...and Jackie never kept any contact with a bandmate's girl after break-up, of either the band or the couple. Now she's sharing her bed with her sort-of-brother-in-law's new girlfriend...Jackie knows she should be grateful to the girl, staying with her, letting Andrea take Nico to her place for the night...but Jackie can't help but wonder what Debbie's angle is....could it really just be kindness? Does she mean to ingratiate herself to Andrea? It seems an odd way of going about it.....

"What are we going to do about your father?" Jackie asks Trill with a sigh. How did all of this happen? From the first time Jackie saw Nico on stage, so beautiful & so talented, all Jackie wanted was to get near him, play with him. Marriage was not in her plans, and a baby never entered her thoughts. It frightened her so much when she discovered she was pregnant, and as much she wanted Nico, loved him even, the thought of marriage sometimes frightened her more. To put so much trust in a person...she didn't think she ever would get to the point of trusting him like that, but she did. How long had the affair been going on? she wonders, not sure that she even wants to know these kind of details, at the same time, desperate to know, picking over her memories of him, searching now for the signs of guilt she missed before. Jackie remembers the day she ran into Mary Strong at the mall on Sunset Strip...the bitch told her she had 'danced' with Nico at the Sam & Julia Valentine wedding reception...she remembes that evening, Nico's odd behavior. It dates back at least that far, she realizes with a shudder. While she was pregnant, the bastard, ...black anger rises inside her then, and Jackie places her daughter gently back in her crib, so she can collapse on the floor, chest heaving as she refrains from letting loose the wails & screams of rage she feels rising up out of her.

"Is everything okay?" Debbie asks as she shakes Jackie awake: she must have fallen asleep crying right on the floor by Trill's crib... "Sure," Jackie sighs as she gets up, not wanting to let Debbie help her up, but unable to fend herself from the girl's assistance. What's the best way to tell her she just wants to be alone? Jackie wonders. "How about I make some breakfast," Debbie offers with a bright pink smile. "No, I'll make breakfast," Jackie says, resigning herself to company, "Why don't you call Andrea...," she suggests, and then trails off...obviously something has to be done about the situation, she can't just walk away clean like it never happened. She loved him...she loves him, she doesn't want to see him, hear him tell her he's sorry, that he loves her...As her eyes start to water, Jackie shakes her head, "Look, I'm going to get some breakfast going, so just...whatever," she says vaguely as she rushes down to the kitchen to hide from Debbie.

Debbie does call Andrea while Jackie cooks, and reports as they sit to eat that Andrea will be bringing Nico by this morning to get some of his things. Until things are settled, he can stay in Debbie's spare bedroom, and apparently Andrea will staying there too, though which bedroom he's staying in isn't specified..."That is, depending on what you want to do...?" Debbie finishes, looking for approval of her plan. Debbie's eyes light up whenever she speaks Andrea's name, that much is real, Jackie thinks, still unable to fathom the how and why of this girl in her house, arranging her life, acting like 'family'.

"How long did you know about it Debbie? How many people know about this anyway?" Jackie asks. Besides being heartbroken & shattered, she's also got to deal with the embarassment of everyone knowing Nico cheated on her..with Mary Strong, one of the most famous & beautiful dramatic actresses in Hollywood. It's hard enough even talking about it with a relative stranger like Debbie, the only reason Jackie can even manage it is because Debbie already knows everything, more than Jackie herself knows, apparently. "Most of the other girls listen to dance music when they work out," Debbie says, "But I've always find I get a better rhythym going with your kind of music, I listen to your album a lot actually," she continues, and Jackie is thoroughly mystified & intrigued, and at the same time growing increasingly impatient. Any other time, Jackie will talk about her music..right now she just wants the goods about Nico, without having to get them from the source. "So I was really stoked about doing that video with Nico...I don't really follow all the music stuff, but I knew he was from your band & you guys were having a baby....I was just so...disgusted. And with that Mary bitch, too....I wasn't really that involved with Bernard, but she snatched him right out from under me...I mean just as well, he's hooked up with Lori & Michelle and who knows who else by now, he's such a whore...but it's the principle. She's a man-stealer." Debbie stops there: Jackie has learned a lot about people she's never met, but nothing she wanted to know. "How long did you know? How did you find out?" Jackie asks, trying not to sound as irritated as she is. "Oh, the day we were shooting the video, the bitch had a photo shoot..I saw him go into her dressing room, which was next to mine, and I heard enough," Debbie answers. Jackie sighs...no, she really doesn't want to know these details after all.

When Andrea arrives with Nico, Jackie decides she can't even look at him right now, and she goes out on to her deck while he's in the house, getting whatever he needs. Andrea follows her outside hesitantly, calling her name gently, "Jackie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, if he wouldn't. I tried to make him, but he wouldn't, & he talked me into staying quiet. He told me it was just that once...he promised never again...," he says, mixing Italian in with his English, clearly distraught. "None of this is your fault," Jackie says, feeling for the young man...what a thing to be dragged into...."He doesn't talk about our father, does he?" Andrea says earnestly, and continues without needing a response...Nico talks about his mother, almost never mentions his father...

"Jackie, I've seen pictures of my mother, from the time before I was born, before Nico, she was a beautiful woman with a joy that shone from her eyes, even in old photographs. It's something I've only seen in pictures...my mother's joy in life died before I was even born into it. They sent me here because I broke my father's jaw, you don't know that do you? No one talks about my father, what he does, even though I hit him for it, they just pretend it's not there. All my brothers are the same...I thought I knew Nicolas, I thought we were different. And, now, God, Jesus, are we all like that inside? Is it just waiting to happen to me next?" The young man's fists clench & unclench with helpless despair. Even he can't seem to be able to come out & say it, but Jackie understands, in light of her own situation. More than that, she understands that fear, that you'll have no choice to repeat that pattern, eyes wide open to the horror, you'll become the parent you grew up to loathe. "Andrea, none of us are destined to live out our parents' lives," Jackie says hesitantly, still not really sure of that. Look at the mess she's in now...right then, Jackie has a powerful memory, right there on that spot of beach ahead of her, she stood with Nico, he asked for probably the fourth time to marry her & she worried about getting married just because she was pregnant. Nicolas kissed her then, one of those kisses that always left her breathless, and told her the world was theirs, that it could all be beautiful if she just let it....where did it all go wrong? she wonders.

"My brother loves you, you know," Andrea says sadly, "He told me everything last night...The things he's done amaze me, Jacklyn, I had no idea what he'd been doing out here...but even for all that, he's still my brother. I'd like to kill him, but I love him. He told me he decided to break it off with...her...after the party, when I confronted him. He said he met her at the spa to actually tell her it was over, and that he hadn't seen or spoken to her in between....He's lied about so much, I don't know what to believe...." Andrea trails off, shaking his head. All these details...Jackie remembers the night they ran into Mary in Santa Monica, that was right after that party...and after that day until yesterday, that was when Nico got so dramatically romantic with her. Jackie eyes start watering again, she tries to turn her head away from Andrea, but he's got an arm around her in comfort right away. "Jackie, whatever happens, whatever you decide to do about my brother, don't let this destroy you. You have a wonderful daughter, and she should see how beautiful you are when you smile."

NEXT