Alison

Alison is starting to hate this movie, shooting the Hell scenes everyday, struggling with Gavin's need for constant coaching. Astrid is working on him behind the scenes, rehearsing with him & trying to shape him up. Gavin is no actor, though he has his moments of transcendence, where he lights the film with his natural grace & beauty, and his voice, soft & sensitive, makes the words in the script resonate with character. Alison knows, those moments are just Gavin being Gavin, the moments where he & his character speak with the same voice. Luckily, in this film that is most of the time. That is no doubt why Byron sought Gavin for this role: no one in Hollywood could be more 'Dream' than Gavin is. But the actor doesn't understand the hell scenes, seems to want some theological explanation to 'motivate' him into his character. "I wasn't raised Christian," he explains, "I don't understand your hell, quite." Alison rolls her eyes, "I was raised Christian, and I don't understand it either, Gavin. Supposedly all lesbians end up there anyway, so I'm sure I'll be at home when I get there, though." Gavin of course does not become a better actor through his director's sarcasm, and Alison wishes she'd held her tongue when he asks if she really believes she's going to hell. "It seems a little severe, doesn't it?" he asks. Going to hell? she thinks. She's here already, L.A. is hell. "It's not an important part of the plot," Alison says, "Don't worry about why hell is hell, just accept it's there like you accept colonies on Mars or whatever else we put in movies that don't exist in real life."

Their house is in a wealthy neighborhood, and everything about it speaks to the sweet situation Justin has landed for himself. Alison can't help but suspect he's with his heiress girlfriend for her money. He certainly never was big on ethics when she knew him in N.Y., and she'd film him while he'd manipulate people with brilliant ease, playing little cons on the street for fun & profit. He stirs his sauce & the poignant smell makes Alison think for a moment they are back in N.Y., and she's filming him for her documentary. "Is this serious or is it about money?" she asks him, as though it's her business. Justin wraps his hand around the handle of a very large knife, and Alison feels cold dread pull on her gut. The knife is for bread: Justin takes a fresh baked loaf from a cooling rack and swiftly cuts thick, even slices. "This is more serious than you can imagine, Alison," he says in his steady voice. Alison wishes she'd brought a camera, the scene reeks of mystery & drama, the simple motions he makes as he ladles some sauce into a dish, the grace of his arm as he pours oil & vinegar out onto a plate. "Sit," he says, gesturing towards the large glass table, and Alison sits while he places plates before her, bread, sauce, oil & vinegar. "Did you come here to question me about my relationship?" he asks as he sits across from her. Alison doesn't answer, she eats, dipping his bread into the sauce, savoring the flavor. Nothing tasted the same after he left: she hated him while he was there, she never expected to long for his cooking once he was gone. "Do you really think I could have made it if I stayed in New York?" Alison asks after she swallows, surprising herself. "You haven't 'made it' here, I take it," he says, "So why would you 'make it' anywhere else? Your problem is you expect something to happen for you, and that isn't 'making' anything." Alison opens her mouth to protest, how tough this business is, how hard she's worked all these years. But she can hear Justin's response before she voices anything. 'Bullshit' he would say, Alison is sure. And he would know, he's the king of bullshit.

Justin's eyes light up when the sound of keys rattle in the door. He rises as his girlfriend opens the door, he takes her jacket, smiling as he kisses her cheek gently. Alison tries not to stare, but it's the most un-Justin-like performance she's ever seen, and she's seen him perfom quite a lot, back in the day. Eleanor greets Alison, and they sit while Justin serves them dinner. During the meal, Justin tells Eleanor stories about New York, bringing Alison in for details he can't remember, treating her not so much as a guest than as someone he's brought in to entertain his girl. By the time she's saying goodbye & heading to her car, Alison has decided she's going back to New York. Even if it's just to visit, she has to see her home again, as soon as this Sandman shoot is over.

She has to wait for the shoot to be over of course, can't even begin thinking about travel plans until it's wrapped. But the longing has grown unbearable since running into Justin at the gallery: visiting him, eating his food, has it made it worse. She has a poignant dream that night, about the old apt in the city, about Belinda, her friends, and Justin too. They were all there... It doesn't take much to find Belinda's phone number, but it does take a lot to dial the number. Alison told everyone she was going to be big. The reason she's never gone back is she was waiting until she could come back a success story. But the need to make a connecton with her past has overcome her pride, and she dials, listens to the ring, and responds to Belinda's "Hello?" with a hesitant, "Hey, Belinda, it's Alison. From college."

"Oh my God! Alison!" Belinda exclaims, "I can't believe it," and then both women say at the same time, "You'll never guess what...," and fall silent at the same time, waiting for the other to finish. "You first," Alison offers, and Belinda says, "I always told you he'd come back. Justin is back, he's returned to the Collared."

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